Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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