I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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