What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
