Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
