remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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