i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
