I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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