and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
