Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
