Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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