I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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