I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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