This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
