i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
