haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
