lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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