shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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