in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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