Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
