Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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