Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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