as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
