If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
