Apparently you make a good broom.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
