You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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