conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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