You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
