WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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