Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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