He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize