You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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