do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
