it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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