I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
