What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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