You're so nebulous sometimes
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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