Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
