your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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