i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
