just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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