drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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