Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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