grandma shit on top of the toilet
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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