do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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