Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
