I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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