Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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