Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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