he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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