I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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