My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
