im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
