THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
