Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
