I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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