dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
