So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
