then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
