Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
