How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
