Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
