I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
