Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
