i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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